If Dogs Had Wings, They’d Still Stay Home
- Rachel R. Baum
- Aug 13, 2009
- 3 min read
There’s been a lot of press recently about traveling with pets. The appearance of a new airline company dedicated to transporting only cats and dogs – no people – is one reason for this sudden attention on animals in transit.
I’m assuming that Pet Airways will be a vast improvement over the misery that is the current state of getting your dog somewhere by plane. Having once upon a time flown across country with one of my dogs, allow me to share my pain with you, which I have thoughtfully distilled into the following travel vignettes:
MADAME, YOUR WALLET PLEASE
Bags may fly free but your dog doesn’t. Wait a minute. The pet carrier is my carry-on. It fits under the seat in front of me. I’m not sure I understand why they should charge me an extra $150. Actually, I think I do. Because THEY CAN.
SHOCK AND AWE
The random selection of passengers to experience that extra-special TSA security machine will naturally mean that you and your dog will be among the chosen few to be screened by air-puff. The uniformed personnel all paused meaningfully to watch Todd and I as we were blasted with an injection of cold wind in our faces. I expected Todd to either pee on my clothes or shriek his ear-piercing Pomeranian “I’ve been insulted” howl. Thankfully, he was so stunned, he did neither. I hustled him off under the unrelenting gaze of said authorities, who continued to stare as I attempted to gather Todd, his leash, his pet carrier, my handbag, my shoes, my belt, my ticket, and my dignity, and reassemble in front of them.
THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR
I’m tall. I have therefore always found it uncomfortable, even aggravating, to have the guy in the seat in front of me release his chair back into my lap. Of course, this is precisely what happened on our flights. Worse, I wanted to keep an eye on my dog, but now there was no chance of that happening because I couldn’t see past Seat 31A’s bald spot. At best, I could stick a finger through the mesh on Todd’s carrier to let him know I was still there. My revenge was to cross my legs vigorously and frequently, to keep the jerk from falling asleep on top of my dog.
AIRPORT RESTROOM FLOORS ARE MADE OF NON-GRASS MATERIAL
When Todd is stressed, he drinks water. Copiously. Well-housebroken dog that he is, he could not be convinced that it was okay to do his business in the airport restroom during our layovers, despite my hovering nearby with antibacterial wipes to clean up after him. So we slogged down the ever-lengthening airport corridors to the terminal entrance, where he relieved himself on a tiny swatch of grass, and then hauled ourselves back through the long and arduous security line. Again. Sigh.
NO DOG HEADS VISIBLE AT ANY TIME
About those layovers. I made the mistake of unzipping Todd’s case so he could get a whiff of stagnant terminal air. An official-looking woman instantly swooped down on us and demanded that I put that dog away! NOW! I tried sneaking him out of his bag from behind a wide column in an obscure corner, but we were again discovered and admonished. Hence, we spent quality time parked on restroom floors, while the cleaning ladies – dog lovers all – cooed and clucked over Todd.
AND – DO IT OVER AGAIN
After ten plus hours in his carrier, with only a few short breaks, Todd leapt out at our destination, giddy with relief. Three weeks later, when it was time to leave, he stared in horror at the carrier and gave me a look that said “you’ve got to be out of your mind if you think I’m getting back in there.” I had to fold his legs, tail and head into Pomeranian origami to zip him back in.
It has been three years since I took Todd on a plane with me. Despite his portable size, he insists on staying home where the bathrooms are conveniently located and tray tables are in their full and upright positions.
For some tips on traveling with your dog (without beneft of an airline dedicated to his comfort), visit Airlines.org.
Each airline has different regulations – and costs – if you want to fly with your dog. Visit PetFriendly for the latest information.
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