I remember thinking when my kids were little how life was full of incredible joy and equally incredible frustration. My clients’ dogs have a similar effect on their owners. There are some dogs that cause a bit more frustration than others. Those owners want to take their dog and ….. it!
For example, there is Maggie, an 18 month old Yellow Lab. Like most labs, she never met a hand she wouldn’t mouth, a sock not begging to be stolen, a sofa pillow that didn’t look edible. The level of frustration her owners had for Maggie’s antics had hit a peak when they called me for help.
Well, their exact words were “If you can’t fix this, we have to get rid of her.”
Poor Maggie, who epitomized the definition of youthful Labrador, was blissfully ignorant that her owners were contemplating re-homing her.
It really wasn’t Maggie that needed adjusting, it was her owners’ relationship with Maggie. Like many owners, they felt that spending money on their dog would solve the problems. Buy more toys. Send her to doggie day care. Hire a dog walker. Get a trainer to train her. Don’t get me wrong; all of those investments help, but they don’t truly get to the heart of the issue. That is, her owners reacted to everything Maggie did, instead of stepping back, seeing the pattern of behavior, and redirecting their dog BEFORE she did something unwanted.
Here is how we changed the relationship between Maggie and her human companions, without raiding the bank account:
A daily (long) walk. Once Maggie learned to walk on a loose leash (thank you, trainer!), walking with her was more fun.
Playing fetch in the yard. We taught Maggie how to drop the ball rather than play keepaway with it, so the game was more fun, too.
One really good toy instead of ten not-very-good ones. A Kong has infinite possibilities if you stuff AND freeze it and its contents. Canned pumpkin puree, grated carrots, even the ubiquitous peanut butter. Freezing makes the toy last way longer than a couch cushion.
Being proactive rather than reactive. Knowing that Maggie loved to mouth visitors’ hands, her owners had a frozen Kong ready as her “guest toy” when company arrived.
5. The basic premise of changing a relationship with a dog is to think ahead, anticipate and channel the dog’s tendencies into more acceptable behaviors, and stay calm in the process. Once you do that, you practically eliminate the behaviors that caused all that frustration.
Now, you can take your dog and….love it!