Like death and marriage, sharing your life with a dog is experienced in stages. Notice I said “experienced” not “enjoyed” or “endured.”
Every person is different, of course, as is every dog, and therefore each relationship is unique. So forgive me for making a few generalizations.
Here are the stages of dog guardianship:
Stage 1. The Honeymoon
Stage 2. The Realization
Stage 3. The Negotiation
Stage 4. The Agreement
Stage 1: The Honeymoon
Your
eyes meet. You found the dog. You bring the dog home. You pick out the plushest bed, the most nutritionally balanced food, the cutest collar, the matching leash, the ceramic dishes that cunningly say “Food” and “Water.” You happily walk the dog, play with the dog, snuggle with the dog. You teach it to sit, shake hands, roll over, speak. You think “how cute is that?!” and “look at that face!” You take photos. You post them on Facebook. You sigh with pleasure.
Stage 2: The Realization
You step in something damp and vaguely squishy. You wake up to barking during the night. You can’t find your cell phone. You run out of kibble. You pay the veterinarian. You pay the groomer. You pay the
carpet cleaner. You pay the pet supply store. You find pieces of the cell phone behind the couch. You pay the vet again. You pay for a new phone. You teach your dog to Stay, or maybe it was Wait? You teach your dog to Leave It, Drop It, Give It. You pry the remote control out of the dog’s mouth. You sigh in disgust.
Stage 3: The Negotiation
You consult a trainer. You implement some of her suggestions. You remove the carpeting. You gate the kitchen. You keep your new cell phone in your pocket, or on top of the refrigerator. You buy a crate. You use it sometimes. You take the dog for longer walks. Except when it rains. Or snows. Or there is a game on TV. You pur
chase different toys. You can’t find your cell phone. You consider a pet sitter, doggie day care, play dates. You buy an area rug but you reconsider and return it to the store. You sigh with resignation.
Stage 4: The Agreement
You follow your trainer’s advice – all of it. You carefully dog-proof the house. You establish a regular housebreaking schedule. You hire a noon-time dog walker. You buy food-based puzzle toys and actually use them every day. You replace broken ceramic dishes with sturdy steel ones. You fence your yard. You train your dog for a few minutes every day. You register for your town’s dog park. You take a few more photos for your Facebook album. While you’re online, you do a petfinder.com search for a second dog. You sigh with contentment.
