Boston Terrier Ernest loves loves loves to play fetch. The trouble is, he is unclear on the concept.
Here is how Ernest plays the game:
1. Owner tosses ball.
2. Ernest gallops at top speed to grab it.
3. Owner calls Ernest to come and give him the ball.
4. Ernest play bows, chomps on the ball, and runs away.
5. Owner chases Ernest and wrenches the ball from his mouth.
6. Repeat 1 -5 until the ball is slick with dog spit and owner is exhausted.
Chocolate Lab Coco lives to play fetch. Her idea of the game is to chase the ball, nab it, prance happily to her owner and then gleefully drop the ball just out of the owner’s reach. When the owner moves forward to take the ball, Coco quickly snatches it, eyes bright, teeth squishing the soggy toy. This goes on until the owner curses and stalks back into the house.
Why are these dogs so clueless? Aren’t they born knowing how to play fetch??
No.
Just as humans have to learn the rules of softball or bocce or basketball, fetch must be taught to our canine companions.
There is a caveat here. Some dogs have absolutely NO DESIRE or interest in ball playing. This is not breed-specific. There are Golden Retrievers that will stare blandly at a tossed ball as if to say “Well, YOU threw it. YOU go get it.”
Here is how to teach your dog to fetch. Assuming, of course, that he is a ball player at heart.
1. Get TWO tennis ball-sized balls that are constructed to withstand exuberant dog mouths. For added enjoyment, get balls that squeak when squeezed.
2. Take your dog into a securely fenced area.
3. Tell your dog to Sit. This is more civilized than having your dog bounce, drool, and pester you physically to throw the darn ball already.
4. Throw the ball.
6. Ignore your dog while you play with Ball #2. Bobble it, roll it around on the ground in front of you, squeak it. Appear to be mesmerized with this amazing toy.
7. Notice that your dog has approached you. You can see he really really WANTS Ball #2.
8. Hold Ball #2 in front of him. Say NOTHING.
9. Your dog will eye Ball #2 longingly. His mouth will relax as he gapes at it.
11. Pick up Ball #1.
12. Repeat 1 – 11 until your dog, or you, have had enough.
13. Eventually, your dog will associate the word “Drop” with the action of releasing the ball, and he will drop it automatically.
NOTE: Some clever dogs with stretchy jaws somehow manage to pick up both balls at the same time. If this happens, get a 3rd ball. Or teach your dog to play soccer.