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Walk This Way

You remember Beamer from Beamer’s Story.

There is a mathematical equation for a walk with Beamer:

Beamer + Leash + Owner = Catastrophe

Beamer’s owner knows that her dog needs exercise, but thought that there has to be a better way to walk Beamer – a seven month old Golden Doodle – than to be pulled and jerked around by him. Plus, as we saw from Beamer’s Story, he has managed to obtain freedom – an exhilarating yet dangerous possibility for a young, naive dog – through the strength of will (his) and the loss of balance (hers).

And so we meet Beamer again, standing dismally in the kitchen, while his owner attempts to ensnare his legs, snout, and trembling body into various contraptions, all designed to assist his owner, and him, to walk without said owner landing on her butt.

She could not decide among the array of confusing devices that she saw in the pet supply store, so she brought home four of them to try first-hand.

Since this is Beamer’s story, I’ll let him give you his take on each device:

“Okay, w

hat sadist thought this one up? The straps cut into my tender face and make me want to roll on the ground and paw the thing off! Which I did! Quite easily, in fact. She kept adjusting it and trying again, and it DID feel a little better, but then I figured out how to back out of it. Sweet relief!

Anyway, she said she will keep it as a back-up just in case the other options don’t work out.

Oh, joy.”

“Again with the strap on my nose. This is where I go into silent protest mode. I’m just gonna stand here with my beleaguered head drooping to the floor until she takes the blessed thing off.  This is pretty much like that Halti thing. Not sure I can tell the difference.

Wait. A piece of chicken? Are you serious? You mean I get chicken when I wear this? I might have to re-think my options. Okay, have it your way. I’ll eat the chicken and go outside with you. But just for a minute. Or two. So, Gal Pal and I are actually walking together. My head gets tugged in a weird way if I get too rowdy, which makes me relax a little. She seems to be pretty happy about me not yanking on her so I’ll wear it for now.

Hey, if you keep the chicken coming, I’ll wear a bustier!”

“Alright, I’m starting to get the gist of this laboratory experiment. Gal Pal is the scientist and I’m the guinea pig. Or a lab rat. Where’s the chicken?

This one’s not so bad. I kind of like that there’s strap on my face AND a collar. Makes it seem a little more secure. In fact, I can tell it really will stay on. Plus, when I start walking, I can’t even feel it on me. I seem to be walking right next to my Gal Pal, too. I could get used to this.”

“I’m a fan of this.

First of all, there is nothing on my nose!! It went on easy, and with the leash attached to the front, I can’t go anywhere without Gal Pal leading the way.  She says I’ll get longer walks wearing my Love harness. And that’s a good thing.

So, yeah, this is my pick, though I would always choose a unencumbered romp over anything with a hint of a strap on it. I AM a dog after all, not a lab rat.”

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