After spending some time recently at my local dog park, I have decided that there are lessons to be learned there.
For example, contrast the arrival of a newcomer to a high school in any teen movie, say, Mean Girls, with the appearance of a newly arrived dog at the dog park.
The new girl in school is usually scrutinized, avoided, and gossiped about. She is made into a pariah unless another teen, one who had been treated just as shabbily as she in the past, takes pity on her and invites her to sit together in the cafeteria at lunchtime.
The new dog, on the other hand, is greeted as landed royalty. As if on cue, every dog’s head turns when the dog park gate clicks open. A beagle mix enters tentatively, and a rush of fast-moving dogs thunders over. The new dog is swamped by dogs, tails high and wagging. Much butt-sniffing ensues, with the beagle mix politely tolerant of the onslaught. She remains still until everyone has checked her out. An invisible signal of approval is given, and she streaks across the field with the pack.
How lovely that dogs can perform the equivalent of “You like red KoolAid, too? Let’s be best friends!” with a canine they don’t know. If only the easy acceptance of dogs at the dog park could be transferred to Afghanistan or Darfur.
Besides this civilized meet-and-greet, what else do dogs do at the dog park? Well, you’ve heard of the Ironman Triathlon. Let us observe the Irondog Competition. The rules for the three events are listed below:
1. Swimming – Jump in the plastic pool. Dunk your face in. Let the water slide down your back. Do it again. Drink a ½ gallon. Jump out. Go over to owner and shake vigorously. Proceed to the second event.
2. Fence Surfing – Race to the fence and sniff along the entire length of it. Pee on the longest grass at regular intervals. Reverse direction. Repeat. Pee on the exact same places. Proceed to the 3rd event.
3. Running – Line your body up with another dog, lower your head, and look at her imploringly. If she looks back at you, run like hell while she runs next to you. Stop short and play bow. If reciprocated, prance wildly. Run until exhausted, then flop on the grass and roll.
Participants are disqualified for barking at a dog that is taking a break and lying on the ground, unless he gets up and chases you.
Between each event, you are required to run to your owner, make a swift U-turn and stand en garde while panting and surveying the playing field. If your owner attempts to pet or touch you, run away without looking at him, and join the other dogs.
The first dog to be caught by his owner and taken home loses. The dog who finds the oldest tennis ball, or gets the dirtiest, or both, wins.
Since it is a requirement at most dog parks that participants must be well-behaved, the dogs there need little training. However, if you long to bring your dog to the dog park but can’t trust that he will be socially appropriate, start taking him out to meet other dogs and people. Get some training for him if he can’t be a gentleman with his own kind.
Best of all, visit the dog park with him, and watch from outside the fence. Both you and your dog might learn something.