Sung to the tune of…

One of my clients recently confessed that she sings to her dog.

This particularly song she called “The Poopy Song”

Despite my entreaties to her to sing it for me, she refused. Even as a public service to the care-worn dog owners who hunch miserably into their coats in the bad weather waiting for their dogs to produce something NOW, she preserved her dignity and did not serenade me.

So I am confessing that I sing to my dogs, too.

Not songs composed to inspire timely elimination, just a variation on this classic tune from Sesame Street. It can actually be sung to any dog, not just Border Collies. It’s called “Hard Workin’ Dog:”

Who doesn’t know “How Much is That Doggie in the Window?” and hummed it to their best friend?

Admit that you might have briefly used “Who Let the Dogs Out?” as a ringtone a few years ago, or at least sung it to your dog when you opened the sliding glass door for him for the umpteenth time.

Is anyone else willing to compromise their self-respect and divulge the song(s) you sing to your dog(s)?

Here’s another confession. Several years ago, I wrote a song for my Dachshund. It was a tribute to her halitosis, and it actually won first place in a contest. I will not sing it, but will share the lyrics with you.

The Air She Breathes

(sung to the tune of “On the Street Where You Live” from

the Broadway musical My Fair Lady)

I have often wished

That this dog I crave

Had a mouth as sweet and fragrant as the treats I gave

But instead am I

Sad and primed to cry

Knowing I must inhale air she breathes.

People stop and retch

Keel over at a sniff

At her breath so putrid no one dares to take a whiff

And despite the gel

Dental paste they sell

I know I must inhale air she breathes

To know there’s no hope for our future

Is to know somehow we are doomed

Forever to live in the aura

Of the pungent fumes that saturate our rooms.

Oh, it seems to me

That a tiny dog

Should not have a kiss that reeks of fishy, acrid smog

So from beneath this mask

We undertake our task

To survive in the air that she breathes.

And the training component of this blog post is…..there is none, except that we humans are unashamedly smitten with our dogs. And there are songs to prove it.

#HardWorkinDog #MyFairLady #WhoLettheDogsOut #SesameStreet #OntheStreetWhereYouLive #HowMuchisThatDoggyintheWindow #TheAirSheBreathes