onal Puppy Day is recognized every March 23rd, to celebrate the joy that puppies bring to our lives, to help save orphaned puppies, and to educate the public about the horrors of puppy mills.
Warning: I am going to Lecture.
If you or someone you know is thinking of getting a puppy, PLEASE use PetFinder.com or a reputable breeder. You are NOT rescuing a puppy if you get it from a pet store – you are supporting puppy mills.
Lecture over.
I’ve been seeing a lot of puppies lately, mainly Labrador Retrievers. Lab puppies are adorable – cuddly, goofy, and playful. They are also more dog than some new owners bargained for.
Here is a typical hour in a Lab puppy’s life:
5:00 AM Wake up. Scan room for signs of movement. Wait 1/4 second for someone – anyone – to open the crate. Whine. Whine louder.
5:10 AM
Get shushed by owner. Whine again, interspersed with pitiful yelps. More shushing. Sigh and go back to sleep.
5:30 AM Awake again, aware of full bladder. Alert the media! Full throttle howling accompanied by frantic scratching at crate door.
5:35 AM Finally! Acknowledgment by owner of sincere toileting needs. Bound out of crate. Leap at owner’s legs. Discover bare toes, lick tentatively, then sink needle sharp teeth into. Paw deliriously at delicate skin of owner’s legs. Grab bathrobe hem and tug. Race out the door, pause briefly to pee, race back in for more gleeful tussling.
5:45 AM Mad dash around living room and kitchen. Take another lap around. And another. Accelerate smoothly into final winning lap. Collapse against water bowl, tipping it over. Paddle through the water. Notice young human playmate in the kitchen. Greet her with full moist body slam. Nip all exposed soft flesh. Respond to ensuing shrieks with more nipping.
5:50 AM Careen against laundry basket, pilfer a sock, and brandish prize. Entice humans to chase with sassy barking. Evade capture by cleverly dodging and weaving.
5:55 AM Attempt to skid behind sofa backfires. Get scooped up by seriously unhappy owner. Unceremoniously deposited back into crate. Whine softly. Fall asleep immediately.
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