Yorkshire Terrier Alfie and his owner are inseparable. Alfie sleeps on her bed, accompanies her to the bathroom, and tucks into her chair with her in while they watch Rachael Ray. Husband Eric works long hours and often leaves before Alfie wakes up and returns home after dark.
Alfie is four years old and has known Eric all of his life. I am called in because Alfie suddenly attacked and bit Eric.
But of course, Alfie’s behavior wasn’t really a total surprise.
After listening to everyone’s perspective on the incident, I conferred with Alfie, who defended his actions:
Alfie: You know, this guy Eric doesn’t belong here. I’ve told him repeatedly and I guess he’s just slow on the uptake.
Me: What do you mean?
Alfie: Here’s the thing. I LIVE here. This is my kitchen, my bed, my couch. I’ve sniffed and rolled and laid on every inch of it. The only time I leave is to go outside, and hey! that’s MY yard, too. And my street. Who IS this guy? He comes in once in awhile, makes some noise, smells kinda funny AND he yells at me. Excuse me, but where does he get off barking at ME?
Me: So what happened?
Alfie: He grabbed me by the collar – I think to move me off the bed – so I bit him. He started it!
Me: So you said you warned him?
Alfie: You bet! I always growled at him when he got on my bed, and whenever he hugged my owner, and whenever he made me move over on the couch. I’m telling you, he ASKED for it!
Me: Are you willing to work on this relationship? Because he buys your dog food, you know.
Alfie: I guess, but he has to do some of the work, too, like feed me once in awhile and take me for walks and stuff.
Me: I also think you need to spend more quality time on the floor and not on the furniture.
And, give your owner some space because you are NOT the center of the universe.
Alfie: I’m not?
Me: Let’s agree that Eric won’t sleep in your bed, and you won’t sleep in Eric’s bed. Keep your teeth to yourself, and so will Eric. Deal?
Alfie: Can I keep the cushy chair?
Me: Trust me, Rachael Ray looks just as perky from the rug.
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