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Writer's pictureRachel R. Baum

Grocery store vigilante

Yellow Lab Tammy can’t tell you the difference between Trader Joe’s or Hannaford, Price Chopper or ShopRite. All she knows is, each store has a parking lot and she will keep a wary and critical eye on anyone who ventures through it.

Despite her owner’s defense strategy of parking the Jeep in a distant abject corner of the lot, Tammy has taken on the task of monitoring the lot as if she is a junkyard cur instead of the beloved family companion that she is.  And so she barks loudly and fervently at the appearance of human beings arriving and leaving on their usual grocery shopping trips.

There is no buildup of warning woofs or low growls. Tammy rockets from zero to 150 at the glimpse of a shopper. Her vocalization seems to say:

“Whoah! Whoah! Beat it, lady! I may be in this metal box but I can yell pretty darn loud. Lemme outta here!! I’ll chase her off the premises just like I do at home!”

Especially irritating to Tammy are the store clerks who gather the errant shopping baskets. Tammy resents the clamorous sound of the carts on the asphalt as well as the slow, meandering movement of the clerk as he corrals the baskets.

Meanwhile, Tammy’s chagrined owner skulks into the store, pretending that the screeches emanating from the Jeep are in no way connected to her.

The simple solution to this unwanted behavior is…..praise!

Well-placed, sincere and effusive, praising a dog BEFORE she starts to bark seems to pre-empt the dog’s impulsive response to external stimuli.

That is, telling her what a good girl she is in happy tones makers her think twice about barking.

“Well, what do you know! I’m just sitting here doing nothing and I’m a good girl?? Seriously? That’s all it takes? Well, you’re easy to please…

Hey, its no trouble. You seem so happy. If you’re happy, I’m happy. We are happy, happy!”


The trick is in the timing. Its crucial to aim all those lovely adjectives “What are wonderful dog you are! Good quiet dog! Super dog! You are the best!” at her while she still is harnessing information to make the decision – to bark or not to bark. You are helping her think is one through and come to the right conclusion.

And no, this doesn’t mean that you must sit like a prisoner in your car every time you shop. Instead, take her out for a few trial runs. Practice parking in different areas of each store’s lot, letting her know what an amazing creature she is to be so quiet.

Her job is not to be the grocery store vigilante, but to chill in the car and wait patiently for the Pupperoni that will surely be in the grocery bag.

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