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Writer's pictureRachel R. Baum

Cardboard, With a Hint of Bubble Wrap

The UPS guy just doesn’t get it.

DJ (short for Dog Junior) is a boisterous 3 year old Boxer mix. His owners have entrusted him with his own doggie door, and the UPS guy is on the receiving end of their largesse.

DJ’s owners are dedicated online shoppers, so UPS visits their home frequently. This is how a typical day plays out…


The scene outside: A UPS truck drives up to the house. DJ’s head appears in the front window.

The scene inside: DJ barks frantically and races from his post at the window to the doggie door in the kitchen.

Outside: The UPS guy hefts a large box and walks quickly to the front porch with it. He drops the box on the porch and pivots to leave.

Inside: The flap of the doggie door swings as DJ hightails it out of the house.

Outside: The UPS guy sees DJ rounding the corner and runs for his truck. DJ tears after him, stops short at the edge of his invisible barrier, and barks until the truck screeches out of sight.

Inside: The sound of cardboard being shredded.

Outside: Remnants of shipping box, bubble wrap, tape, and unidentified previously packaged item are strewn over the porch. 

Inside: DJ re-enters the doggie door and heads for his dish, where he takes a long, leisurely, satisfying drink of water.

To try and prevent DJ from destroying their latest Amazon purchases, his owners put a large cooler on the porch with a sign on it, instructing UPS to put packages inside the container. At this point, understandably, UPS is refusing to enter the property AT ALL, unless DJ is secured inside the house.

So here are some options for DJ’s owners:

1. Constructively occupy DJ during the day with food-based puzzle toys.

2. Close the front room curtains and play the radio so that DJ isn’t watching and listening for deliveries.

3. Lock the doggie door during the day to keep DJ inside.

4. Prevent access to the front yard and porch by reducing the span of the pet containment wiring to encompass the backyard only

5. Have packages delivered to the office.

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